How Degrading
by Reyemlessord
Summary: Through the centuries during the war of the Defense of the Ancients, it's not all war and death that can be found on the battlefield. Sometimes innocent stupidity can save you a lot of time. Rated T because the fic is about a game of war and death, hoho!


A/N: The amount of DotA 2 fics on this site is a tad bit low, yes?

I had always liked DotA, even before DotA 2 was released (Though I'm not part of the really old players who played 6.60 games and such. I actually started at 6.72)

Most of the fics that ARE on this site are angsty and such, but judging from a game about war, well, it was quite appropriate.

I had decided to write something light-hearted, because I'm not an angsty kind of person.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Disclaimer: DotA belongs to it's respective owners and DotA 2 belongs to Valve

* * *

**HOW DEGRADING**

* * *

Many have told tales about a never ending war between two factions. Whereas these two factions exist purely for balance, balance so that the world may not crumble. The reason why these factions are needed to coexist is because that if one of them were to be completely eradicated, then the other faction would have dominated the world.

The Radiant, the faction which is said to uphold justice and promises to win the war so that the world may know eternal peace.

And the Dire, the faction which is said to fight purely for their bloodlust and love for battle. Are locked in eternal combat so that the world is balanced.

Which faction is winning, you ask?

Neither.

These two factions are both at a stalemate, a stalemate that has been going on for centuries.

But these two parties know nothing of time, they simply send out foot soldiers to fight with five extremeley powerful soldiers known as Heroes.

Depending on these Heroes performances will the battle be truly won.

But alas, fate is a cruel thing.

Whenever the Radiant or Dire would successfully eradicate the opposing faction, the cycle begins anew. Reviving all of the fallen soldiers and reverting them back to their state before their deaths.

Heroes would return to their most weakest state, and once they are called for battle once more, their memories are erased and they recall nothing.

This battle- No, this war that has been going on for almost a millenia has been called:

The Defense of the Ancients.

* * *

A tall man with flowing golden locks and pointed ears moves cautiously through the forest, carefully scanning his surroundings.

His completely white eyes quickly moving left and right, looking for potential enemies.

He had stopped in his tracks when he saw smoke, and the familiar scent of burning wood.

The man had quickened his pace and he entered a clearing, were four pairs of eyes looked over to him.

Well, three people and one reanimated corpse.

He had noticed the source of the smoke, a small fire was in the middle of the four people in the clearing.

One of them, a woman, who was reclining on a white tiger had been lazily stroking the fur of the said beast. Or was it a white lion? He really had NO idea.

The large cat upon noticing the presence of the tall man, looked up and growled at him.

"Hush now Sagan" The woman crooned at her pet, successfully pacifying the tiger.

"Tsk, at least tame your pet, Mirana" The tall man said in disgust.

"Ah, what took you so long?" A man with a strange mask and an even stranger top-knot greeted him with a question, his voice sounding a bit like a combination between a robotic voice and an echo.

"Hmp, let me remind you that I do not possess any teleportation abilities" The tall man said in a deep pompous voice "Unlike you, who just _steal_ them for your convenience"

"Hahaha!" The masked man laughed, standing up from the log he was sitting on "No need for such a sour mood Arsenal Magus, we have not seen each other for a long time!"

"I prefer not to get too... _friendly_" His voice coated with a bit of disgust.

"Just like before, you're still very much the same-" A man with wings and the lower body of an eagle spoke up in a light Russian accent. Much like the the tall man but instead of white, his eyes were completely blue "-Eh, Invoker?"

Invoker had rolled his eyes, if he could even do that, and crossed his arms "So you are my allies now?" He asked nonchalantly.

"That's right" The masked man spoke up, moving his head left and right unnecessarily.

"Stop doing that!" Invoker spoke with irk "I even begin to question why you're a Grand Magus"

The masked man laughed "Why, I am the son of Aghanim! His magical blood courses through my veins of course!" He said proudly.

"Hah, that was a rhetorical question, Rubick" The winged man said amusedly.

"Was it now?" Rubick tapped his chin lightly, trying to make himself look like he was in thought.

The four of them were surprised when the crowned corpse had suddenly started moving.

"Carl, is that you?" It asked, scanning it's surroundings.

"CARL!" It stood up, rushing towards Invoker with open arms.

"Aww, it wants to hug you~!" The woman teased.

"Ugh, Cold Snap!" Invoker casted a spell on the moving corpse and continued to send a barrage of magical bullets at it until it no longer advanced towards him.

"Is "the Almighty Dirge" going to be alright?" Rubick asked while looking at the fallen corpse which kept on screaming "Carl".

"We had agreed to call him Dirge-" The winged man started "-"The Almighty Dirge" is a bit too much, don't you think?"

"I think it has a nice ring to it" Rubick said amusedly, if he wasn't wearing a mask, Invoker swore that the masked Magus was smiling.

"Well you don't call me "the Skywrath Mage" don't you?" The winged man smiled

"I deem to call you Dragonus-" Rubick nodded sagely "-Because it has a more... _powerful_ feel to it"

"See?" Dragonus smiled "Now, let's talk about our lanes, shall we?"

"I suggest I go middle lane" Dragonus said confidently.

"Pfeh, you'll just feed middle game" Rubick shook his head while shrugging.

"I'm the only late gamer here" Mirana said in a sing-song voice.

"I GO MID" Dirge screamed.

"No, no I need to go mid to fully utilize my skillset!"

"Ha! I could just steal the ultimate of the poor sap that will be my opponent in the mid lane!"

"Now now boys, I believe the term is ladies who shoot arrows first"

Dragonus and Rubick visibily cringed at this

"DO NOT BRING DROW AND LYRALEI INTO THIS!" The two mages said in unison.

"Ugh, how degrading..." Invoker sighed in defeat.

* * *

The team that they were on, the Radiant, had found a most quick victory of fifteen minutes.

The five of them have decided to all go mid, and thus, their enemy at mid decided to leave the lane out of fear of dying every time he came back.

Thus they pushed tower after tower, effectively ending the game with all of them at the middle lane.

* * *

A/N: This is a one shot of Invoker and all his battle woes.

I had decided to pick Mirana, Rubick, Dragonus, and Dirge as his companions because Mirana and Dirge both have lines were they call him "Carl".

I chose Rubick because his bubbly personality was clearly the opposite of Invoker's, not to mention he calls him the "Arsenal Magus". So I thought they had this buddy-not buddy relationship.

Dragonus was my last choice because he has a "rival" and "ally" quote with Invoker, it would seem that Invoker doesn't deem to remember anyone "inferior" to himself.

I would've chosen Magina, but the gag with all of them being at middle lane was too much to pass up.

Anyway, I like all these heroes personally, but I'm not good with all of them.

I usually use Rubick as a side-lane support or utility mid laner.

Dragonus and Invoker? I tend to miss whenever I cast Mystic Flares or Sunstrikes. So, meh.

Dirge, I usually use him as a tank/support, but I rarely use him at all.

Mirana, nothing to say here, my arrow shots are literally crap (I also suck with Pudge Hooks)

Anyways, hope you had a good read!

Good day and cheerio!


End file.
